Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dear 30 Seconds to Mars,

Guys come on. I just wasted the last 8.5 minutes of my life watching your latest gem of a music video. Yeah, I said 8.5 minutes. Not 3 or 4 but over 8! I've got a few issues with you guys that I'd like to hammer out real quick.
1. Enough with the "short film" music videos. Normal bands can bang'em out in 3-4 minutes and be done. I bet that lame a** video of yours costed you a fortune and for what. A bunch of tards on bikes riding through the ghetto? If that is what your heart is set on next time give me a call and for $500 cash I'll bring my mini-dv camera and bingo, you got your music video with the bike tricks, crazy kids and all. Or maybe we can really push boundaries and I can film myself warming up a hot pocket while your song is playing in the background and that would work too. We can still put the credits at the end and everything. By the way if you roll credits at the end of your video that probably means your trying a way too hard. Did it really take that many people to make that happen!? Anyway, to sum it up, shorten it up and get a bit creative.
2. Leto, your not an actor anymore. Ok you had some small roles in some pretty cool flicks (who could forget my man getting hacked up in American Psycho by Christian Bale as seen above) but it's time to drama it down bro. I haven't seen this much over acting since seeing those little over-spastic nerds on Barney (I had young kids ok?). Decide what you want to do. You want to rock or act because you can't do both unless you're Elvis. Figure it out wiener.
3. You're latest single sucks. Stop trying to make the next big radio hit and just make some decent music like you used to. Like I said before your trying too hard for all the wrong reasons. You've already got money growing out of your a. Let's take the next step and start pushing some bounderies.

Well, with that being said, I guess I'll still come to your concert this Monday, November 30th at the Raile. You're still pretty decent and if you take my advice you'll be set.

Thanks guys.

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